Support like this means the world to me. Thank you so much for that xox
Recently I found out I have a skin disease. Not the greatest thing I want to find out, but it is what it is. I now have a name for what is torturing my skin. What’s put me through painful hell. What’s sent me to the ER, Doctor, surgery… yada, yada. Not too sure I can actually pronounce it correctly, but I do have a name for it. It’s Hidradenitis Suppurativa and it’s effin disgusting. So I’ve been pretty god damn miserable about this. As much as I’ve tried to cheer up and be all woo It’s all good. I just can’t. I wanted to just scream bloody murder and break everything in my sight. I am beyond angry. Why do bad things keep happening to me? I have the right to ask. Don’t I?
It’s made me even MORE insecure about myself. It’s put my family though shit. The crappy list goes on and on.
Anyway… I’ve accepted it. I can’t cure it, but I sure as hell can make it better for myself.
After doing enough research… and google imaging (DON’T DO IT) I realized mine is NOT as bad as some others have it.
I am completely changing my entire life around. Changing food, activity and I am getting my stupid head back into music mode. I am blessed for having an amazing sister and father who always help me when it gets bad. A mother who goes to the doctors with me to support me cause she knows I want to cry half the time and a best friend who always keeps my spirits up and has faith in me no matter what. I won’t be able to completely avoid cysts and whatever else gross shit that happens, but I will make myself as healthy as I possibly can be. The best thing I can say is… Oh well. Let’s just do what I can do and I am sure it will get a bit better and easier. Right? It could always be so much worse.
I am forever stuck with scars but hey… it’s my own battle wounds and I will forever be proud of them. Well… when they get into that healing point. Also… I am done being so damn insecure. It is what it is.
I promised myself this will be the best year of my life. So many changes and so many positive things and I will hold myself to that. I won’t allow myself to be that miserable again. We all have bumpy paths and this is mine.
That’s that! :)